Fuck You Rush! I Will Whip Your Big Fat Ignorant Ass!!!

 An Open Letter to Rush Limbaugh

Playthell in the ParkThe Author, in training for his future bout with Blubbermouth

 

Yo Rushbo!

Although I consider Keith Olbermann to be the smartest of the television talkies, plus he’s got the balls to take you right-wing verbal arsonists on and smack y’all in the face with your bullshit, I was really startled and disappointed when he chastised the brilliant comedienne Wanda Sykes because she said she hopes your kidneys fail.  I on the other hand felt like we were having a telepathic moment and Wanda had read my mind. In fact I always think of you whenever I hear that great American standard “I’ll be glad when you’re dead, you rascal you!”

Let me say straight away, Rushbo, that I consider you white trash with money: a fat, ugly, obnoxious, foul-mouthed, embarrassingly ignorant, racist, sexist cracker pig!  The charming and brilliant Ariana Huffington pegged you just right when she recently told Keith Olbermann that nothing you say makes any sense…ever.  Keith, of course, had already expressed skepticism about your sanity, Rush, a matter that is also an open question with me. I often find myself wondering if you are doing dope again.  No shit; I mean, that’s how crazy you have been talking lately, daddy-o.  And what’s with the bouncing man routine?  I mean you don’t need to anything special to make yourself look ridiculous because you already look like an overweight Porky Pig, so whaaasup with that?

As a compulsive pedagogue I am alarmed and offended whenever I am forced to endure nonsense, but I am far more alarmed that millions of poor dumb rednecks take you seriously as a credible analyst of political affairs.  Given their desperate circumstances these people are a smoldering powder keg; and obviously they are clueless, because they tune you in everyday for direction in life and follow your marching orders like cheerful robots.  They are deluded to the point that they really believe those shallow diatribes you engage in everyday are useful as a compass to navigate their way through the hazardous terrain of the post-industrial wasteland that blue-collar Americans increasingly inhabit.

You are either too dumb to dig what you are doing to these people by spreading your special brand of racist nihilism, a really stupid fuggermucker, or you are truly evil.  I say this because if you continue to incite these beleaguered Archie bunkers out here you are going to get somebody killed.  It is well documented that the use of incendiary rhetoric, delivered with the appropriate bombast and sense of outrage, can incite the untutored mob to violence… especially when they are going through hard times and know not why. The people you talk through are for the most part fat, dumb, and lazy…just like you.  Hence their heads are blank slates upon which anything can be inscribed, depending upon who has access to them offering simple solutions for bewilderingly complex problems.

Since I have seen you on-air in the studio at WABC here in New York, I know that you are constantly fed information on computer screens by a battery of researchers.  Your talent therefore has nothing to do with intellect; it is all an act.  The difference between what you do and what many TV anchors do is that they are reading a script displayed on a teleprompter, and you are a talented ad-libber. And that is a skill which is more suited to a comic, especially on the absurd level that you discuss events and the bizarre take you have on things.   And you have repeatedly admitted as much when you identify yourself as merely “an entertainer.”

Rush the IdiotThe Real Rushbo!

 

That’s they same excuse Republican Party bigwigs offer when they are questioned about some of the outrageous things you say on behalf of the party.  It’s as if they congregate in the dark of night in Dolphin Stadium and agree on the talking points regarding how they will handle questions after you drop some verbal bomb that makes the Republicans look like a confederacy of charlatans and fools.  It is amusing to watch, because the Republicans have entered into a Faustian bargain with you and it’s become their undoing.

What, for instance, is any sane person who is not a certifiable moron to make of your charge that “the only way to get ahead in the Obama Administration is to hate white people…or at least say you do!”  And your comparison of Judge Sotomayor to David Duke exceeds all of your previous vulgarities and racist hysteria.  And it defies any semblance of logic that you, who are the broadcast industry’s equivalent of Francis the Talking Mule, a programmed talking head who is fake from start to finish, have the unmitigated gall to question the credentials of Justice Sotomayor!

This woman has been subjected to the most rigorous intellectual tests – second in her class at Princeton, Yale Law Review Editor – and she has broader legal experience as lawyer and jurists than any of the sitting justices had at the time they ascended to the bench!  Furthermore she was appointed by the best qualified President to select a judge for the high court in history.  And what have you accomplished in life, Rush? Well, as near as I can tell you are the most successful clown in the history of the entertainment industry. Your story doesn’t even begin to compare to the majesty of Sonia Sotomayor’s achievements.  That’s why she is going to the Supreme Court, and you will remain the clown prince of WABC – White Apartheid Broadcast Radio, rousing the ignorant white rabble with your Orwellian racist, sexist rants!

However, don’t get me wrong, although I find you personally odious in every respect – in fact I’d like nothing better than to whip your fat dope-fiend ass – and although I know that you are taking poor dumb frustrated rednecks for a fantasy ride that can never lead them to real solutions for their problems, you are disabling the Republican Party as a credible force in national politics with your rancid rhetoric; and in that I rejoice. For in this project we are allies, Rush: Never has Lenin’s dictum “politics make strange bedfellows” rung truer.  Keep up the good work, chubster!

 

 

Harlem, New York, May 30, 2009

 

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