Dumb! Dumb! And Dumber Still!
Recently Bill O’Reily charged that critiques of Republican women by democrats are motivated by envy, because their women are hot and democrat women ain’t squat. Of course, at the top of his list is Sarah Palin, who has been known to inspire wet dreams in certain Republican ideologues. Rush Limbaugh for instance, openly panted over her and declared her a “hot babe.” As a lifelong Democrat and pugnacious pundit I naturally felt compelled to respond to Mr. O’Reily’s hyperbole.
From the moment she burst upon the national scene — bold, brazen, boisterous and wearing a silly smile – Sarah Palin sometimes reminded me of a plumper version of Ellie Mae Clampett of the Beverly Hillbillies, and other times she seemed a reincarnation of Miss Kitty, the cat house madam from the old television series “Gun Smoke,” which was wildly popular during the 1950’s when I came of age. She had the style of a sporting lady trying to turn a trick, they way she constantly batted her eyes and conjured fake smiles as she seduced her audiences. The main difference between Silly sarah and Miss Kitty is the latter was a tart with a heart and the former seems to have ice water in her veins, circulated by a cast iron pump. And after listening to her acceptance speech when John McCain chose her as his Vice Presidential running mate, she immediately replaced Danford C. Quayle as the dumbest person to ever hold that position!
Although I had already dismissed John McCain as an unprincipled and dangerous opportunist whose soul was for sale if the proper Faustian bargain presented itself, his selection of Silly Sarah to occupy an office which would place her a heartbeat away from the presidency assured me that he would readily place the fate of the nation in peril if it served his thirst for power. The more I listened to Sarah talk, the more unimpressed I became. And by the time she uttered her last words I had dubbed her “The Alaskan Barbarian.”
I thought Sarah’s selection not only imperiled the national security should McCain be elected President, but it was an insult to American women. It was as if he had looked past the legions of brilliant and capable women in the US and chosen Lucy Ricardo to lead the nation from the Oval office should he meet an untimely demise. Given the fact that big John is a grizzled old fart who looks like he is hanging over hell’s fire by an eyelash, and could slip away at anytime, the possibility of having this empty headed, gun totin, moose hunting, motor mouth shrew in charge of the nation’s affairs was a real probability. The idea of Sarah conducting US diplomacy was harrowing, and the possibility of her gaining command of our vast nuclear arsenal was terrifying.
As we got to know her better Sarah proved to be even dumber that I’d first suspected. While she was great at spinning back woods yarns about the joys of moose stew, and celebrating her white “part Eskimo” husband’s fishing and sledding skills, it quickly became all too obvious that she was totally unprepared for high office. Her sole qualifications seemed to be that she was a tenacious basketball player at Wasilla High – earning the nick name “Sarah Barracuda” – who rose to become Mayor of her home town – which had a population smaller than that which I can see outside my window, and the governor of a state with a budget smaller than New York City.
This failed beauty queen not only knew very little about the world outside of the frozen tundra of Alaska – she actually thought the fact that she could see Russia from Alaska on a clear day made her qualified to handle foreign affairs – but felt herself under attack when Katie Couric asked what publications she read. And when she was asked to explain her position on the “Bush Doctrine” by Charlie Gibson on ABC News she thought it was a carefully laid trap designed to embarrass her with “gotcha” questions. The routine functions of the workaday press seemed like vicious assaults to this backwoods bumpkin, who was obviously accustomed to spouting all manner of fact free nonsense without challenge.
Sarah’s selection to campaign for the second highest office in this great country was scandal enough in itself, but in order to justify their choice Republican Party spokesmen began to attack Barack Obama’s Ivy League education – which amounted to a celebration of ignorance! They actually argued that Sarah Palin’s belated degree in journalism from Iowa State, fortified by her mother wit and so-called “executive experience” was better preparation for the Presidency than Barack’s education at Columbia University and Harvard Law, plus time spent dealing with international issues in the Senate.
For a nation whose student’s placed at the bottom in international science and math competitions this was a disastrous development. The last thing we need is to stigmatize an Ivy League education; the one arena where our students are unquestionably being prepared to compete with the world’s best. Yet once the GOP saw that this line of argument worked, as Sarah’s appearances attracted large and howling mobs from among the racist and untutored Republican “base” – check out her speech in Strongsville Ohio on You Tube – who felt that she was one of them, the GOP decided that that promoting mindless motor mouths was a good strategy.
Watching those sad, deluded, enraged and confused white racists who comprise the Republican base, and the far right mavericks in the “Tea Party” movement, go bonkers over Sarah the Grand Obstructionist Party decided to stick with her no matter what. Hence when her unmarried teenage daughter popped up pregnant for a loquacious thug while Sarah was running around preaching abstinence to everyone else’s daughter and opposing the teaching of sex education in the schools, they gave her a pass and chose to praise her daughter for not having an abortion.
Everybody knows that had this been Barack Obama’s daughter we would have heard endless self-righteous preachment about the moral depravity of the black community from these shameless hypocrites. Not even Sarah’s neglect of her new born infant – who is handicapped and thus needs the attention of his mother even more than the average infant – inspired criticism from the “family first” bible thumping Christian Right.
And everyone pretended not to notice that Sarah and her teenage daughter were having babies around the same time, which is real low life trailer park trash stuff. And when she quit her post as Governor of Alaska and walked away because she could make more money hustling on her celebrity, without the headaches of governing or dealing with several corruption investigations, she was not only forgiven by her acolytes among the Republican faithful, but the “Tea Party Patriots” – who bill themselves as a grass roots movement – gladly pay her up to $100, 000 a speech!
Thus no one symbolizes the militant ignorance, crass opportunism, amoral hypocrisy, contempt for the poor, vulgar materialism and avarice of the Republican Party better than Sarah Palin. Yet because she is able to rouse the untutored rabble that the country club elite – the real princes and powers of the Republican Party – cannot reach but can’t win without, even the GOP intelligentsia hesitates to criticize her publicly. Thus by default, Silly Sarah has become the model for female politicians in Republican politics. Hence the string of hysterical ding bats who are increasingly defining the public face of the party.
This explains the growing prominence of Congresswoman Michele Bachman from Minnesota, who as near as I can tell is even crazier than the Alaskan Barbarian. This is a sitting United States Congress Woman who says she wants her constituents “armed and dangerous!” And after this kind of treasonous talk she says the media should examine members of Congress to determine who holds “anti-American” views! Since she went to college and holds advanced degrees in law, Ms. Bachman is either suffering from some species of paranoia or she is bull shitting the ignorant racist rabble that supports her.
A True Space Cadet!
If she is sane – which is not at all certain – surely the Congresswoman must know that her attitude and ideas are un-American. The American way, as spelled out in the US Constitution she purports to revere, calls for the holding of free and fair elections in which we select our leaders by secret ballot. That’s precisely how President Obama and the Democrats came to power. But rather than honor the constitutional process Megalomaniacal Michelle is calling for the overthrow of the government by armed force because she didn’t get her way.
As I write she is denouncing the President for attending the G-20 economic summit, accusing him of conspiring with foreigners to lead America into “a world economy;” because in her view this would lead to ”a world government,” which would hitch the fate of the US with that of “Zimbabwe.” Either she is willfully cutting the fool to dupe her fans, or she is too stupid to understand that the Republicans have been the main promoters of globalization.
The Republican elite represent the investor class, and they will invest their money anywhere. All they care about is the rate of return. Never has Karl Marx’s observation that “the workers are nationalists, the bourgeoisie are internationalists” rung truer. The investor class routinely moves capital all over the globe, driven only by the profit motive, without consideration for the national interest. That’s why I argue that either Ms. Bachman doesn’t have a clue how things work or she is perpetuating a fraud on her constituents.
It is hard to know what’s what with this woman because she has a history of saying so many really stupid things. For instance she attributed the onset of the Great Depression to Democratic President Franklin Roosevelt signing the “Hoot Smalley Act.” Aside from the fact that her theory of historical causation is nonsense, it was the Smoot Halley Act and it was signed by Republican President Herbert Hoover, who was in office when the Depression started!
Congresswoman Bachman has also declared global warming a fraud, arguing that carbon monoxide cannot be harmful “because its natural.” She also warned that President Obama was secretly establishing communist type “re-education camps” for American youths. And when she is not worrying about the President interning her children she agonizes about the “gays” seducing them. And lest we forget, this is no fringe group fanatic but a Republican member of Congress! This woman is an embarrassment; I am ashamed that such a scatter brain blunder buss could actually sit in the greatest parliament in the world. And what it tells us about the values and intelligence of her Minnesota constituents is frightening.
Air Head From another Planet
Just when you think you have heard all the lunatic stories from these vicious airhead Republican broads along comes Sharon Angle from Nevada. The first time I saw Sad Sack Sharon, she was literally running from a local reporter who was trying to question her on public positions she had taken while running in the Republican primary to become their candidate for the US Senate against Majority leader Harry Reed. Of course she got the idea that the mainstream press is a dangerous enemy to be avoided due to the briefings she received from former Republican Congressman turned rightwing propagandist and “Tea Party” organizer Dick Armey.
Devious Dick had attempted to explain Rand Paul’s problems away by saying he should never have allowed himself to be interviewed by Dr. Rachel Maddow on MSNBC. But he did clueless Sharon a serious disservice by neglecting to tell her that the real reason for his problems is that he talks like a damn fool. Had he told her this she might have changed her tune earlier, although she has said so many absurd things on the record I doubt that she could have successfully expunged the record. But since she is about as deep as a dry river bed, keeping her away from serious reporters is still their best bet.
As outrageous as it is for a candidate to attempt to run for the US Congress – and in Palin’s case the Vice Presidency – without ever granting an interview to a major news organization, it is becoming standard operating procedure for the dopes the Republicans are putting up as candidates for high office. And when this kind of subterfuge comes from people who claim to love the US Constitution and revere our democratic electoral process it is the most shameless sort of hypocrisy – nothing is sacred to this crowd but wealth and power.
Yet when you hear the kinds of things these people are saying, what they actually stand for, it’s no wonder that the Republicans want to hide them from the general public. And none are more frightening than the Republican women. That’s why right-wing propagandists like Rush and Billy would rather talk about their looks rather than their ideas. Alas, Republican women like Liz Cheney, one of the smartest and most vicious in the pack, looks like Denny Dimwit so she’s the odd gal out. And so is that anorexic witch Crazy Annie Coulter, although Charming Billy thinks she’s a fox! Crazy Annie and her cut buddy, WABC air head Lurid Laura Ingram, are interesting specimens of the screaming reactionary Republican banshee, I shall not critique them here because I have done that elsewhere on this blog. Just look them up in the search engine.
Sharron Angle doesn’t qualify for Rush and Bill’s “Hot Babes” list either. She is not only an old booga bear but also rip roaring mad to boot. Among the things she was advocating before she lucked up and won the Nevada Republican primary for the Senate is abolishing the Environmental Protection Agency and the Internal Revenue Service. She would also scrap the Social Security program and gamble the funds on the stock market. She is opposed to unemployment insurance because she believes unemployment benefits are too generous and promotes laziness in the working class! It is no wonder she wants to prevent the general electorate from discovering these long and sincerely held views.
By trying to hide people like Rand Paul and Sharron Angle, who appears to be the dumbest of the pack, the GOP and their Tea Party cohorts are attempting to perpetrate a fraud on the electorate by confining appearances of their whacko candidates to the far right media circuit. Even as I write, Ms. Angle is trying to sue the campaign of Senator Harry Reed for reposting the political positions that she recently removed from her website. She is scrambling to white wash her lunatic views now that she has discovered the rest of the country outside of the rightwing bubble views them as ridiculous. It always seems to surprise them that Rush, Sean, Bill and Glenn don’t speak for most Americans.
Gun Freak: Pamela Gorman
Republican candidate for Congress in Arizona
Crazy Annie Coulter and her Main Man J. J. Walker
A Note on Bill and Other Slobbering Republican Lechers
Bill O’Reily, the Irish Catholic motor mouth at FOX who does nothing but Spin in the “No Spin Zone,” including buying off a female subordinate who filed sexual harassment charges, is the last of the slobbering Republican lechers to Join Rush Limbaugh in charging Democrats with being jealous of the beauty of Republican women. Recently he made a list of the “hot babes” in the Republican ranks. I think it is a sign of their contempt for women that they choose to make an issue of their looks rather than their intelligence – although given the unremitting stupidity of Republican women it is easy to see why.
Bill has the mindset of a sexual harasser; the kind of predatory male boss who pays far more attention to women workers butts than their brains. It is just one more example of their refusal to behave like responsible adults and relate to female colleagues as equals. It is hard to tell whether it is stupidity or arrogance that compels a man who has already survived a sexual harassment scandal to offer such a sexist analysis. For these are not beauty pageant contestants that we are considering here, but leaders of the most powerful nation in the world; a nation that is in a protracted crisis alas.
Since he has made such an issue of this, and I am a Yellow Dog Democrat – which means that I would vote for a yellow dog before I’d cast my ballot for any Republican – I feel that I must respond to Billy Boy’s charges of Democrat envy lest I too be labeled a jealous hater. Plus, on the real side, the player in me bristles at the thought of a doopus Big Bird looking square like Bill trying to chump me off. So in my defense I’d like to submit my idea of a beautiful white woman – who also happens to be a world class brainac – which will make it plain why I am unimpressed by that white trash debutante Silly Sarah Palin, and the rest of those pasty faced Republican air heads that so impresses poot butts like Bill and Rush!
Yo Bill and Rush: You need to raise Your Standards!
Drop Dead Gorgeous and A PhD in Mathematics Too!
Harlem New York
July 8, 2010